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All-Thanksgiving 25-man roster

Why not?

League Championship Series - Houston Astros v Boston Red Sox - Game One Photo by Elsa/Getty Images

At Beyond the Box Score, we’re incredibly thankful to our readers for their support over the years. We’d like to think we are an important contributor to the sabermetric baseball discourse. We’re proud of the thoughtful, analytical, intelligent content you’ve come to expect...

...but this is not that.

Lineup

  • C Tim McCARVEr
  • 1B Kevin (Thank) YOUkilis
  • 2B Tripp(tophan) Cromer
  • 3B PIE Traynor
  • SS Al Dark (meat)
  • LF Tim (Plymouth) “Rock” Raines
  • CF Turkey Stearnes (Do yourself a favor and read up on this Hall of Famer from the Negro Leagues.)
  • RF G(r)avvy Cravath
  • DH Derek “Mr. November” Jeter

Bench

  • C Barry Foote(ball)
  • UI YAMaico Navarro
  • OF Felix PIE
  • SS Gene (Drum) “Stick” Michael
  • OF Adam EATon

Starting Rotation

(There’s a theme here!)

  • LHP Bud BLACK
  • LHP Max FRIED(ay)
  • RHP EARLY Wynn
  • LHP Chris SALE
  • LHP David PRICE

Bullpen

  • LHP (Turduc)Ken Brett
  • RHP Mychal (Thanks)Givens
  • LHP Jimmy GOBBLE (Too easy!)
  • RHP Trevor May(flower)
  • RHP Tyler Pill(grim)
  • RHP Turk(ey) Wendell

Daniel R. Epstein is an elementary special education teacher and president of the Somerset County Education Association. Tweets @depstein1983.