To preface this, the Rockies have a promotion going with Taco Bell where whenever the Rockies score 7 runs or more in a game, you can get 4 tacos for $1 with the purchase of a drink.

That said, this article is entirely tongue in cheek, and the analysis is pretty shallow.

Kind of funny though.

Riding two low-scoring losses to the Mets, this column may seem to come at a poor time, and rub in the lack of batting prowess that we've seen over the past 2 weeks. The pitching has been good enough, with some exceptions, but the bats have barely been able to sneak by against opposing arms.

We've all been yearning to see an offensive explosion, to see our boys do some damage and break down an opposing pitching staff.

We need our lineup to begin producing again, not just to support the pitchers, not just to pad our fantasy stats, but more importantly, to keep our team in strong contention. We aren't winning at the moment, but to lighten everyone's spirits, we will take a look at fonder times, when the bats have arrived and crushed the hopes of the opposition.

Because what makes a win even better than the extra 1 in the "W" column?

Tacos.

Today's Counting Rocks is going to explore who the Tacoiest position player on the Rockies is.

Now, to accumulate these statistics, I only took numbers from games that were actually applicable to Tacos, ie, games we've scored 7 or more runs with and thereby the next day went to our local Taco Bell restaurant and received 4 tacos for $1 with the purchase of a drink.

So before we present the numbers, yes, I know that they're all going to be much higher than normal, seeing how the offense provided 7 runs in a game.

But this kind of analysis goes beyond just winning games and providing offense. This analysis measures how much the bats go above and beyond.

This analysis tells us how much the players want us to be happy.

How much they want us to have Tacos.

Now, this analysis was made possible by Baseball Reference, providing all the stats I need in an easy-to-download form of CSV data.

From this data I was able to make a big spreadsheet (shocker, right?) and thereby calculate each player's wOBA for my particular flavor of analysis.

The results are stunning.

Based on the numbers we're familiar with, we can break down the Rockies Taco production in a bunch of different ways. For starters, in terms of OPS, the Tacoiest batter on the Rockies is Clint Barmes, posting a 1.462 OPS in 84PA. He batted a compopent line of .308/.655/.808 with 8HR, 30BB, and 8 IBB. Seriously, I'm not even kidding you.

Following up OPS, we'll dial this up a notch and move on to wOBA. Our Taco leader in wOBA is the one, the only:

Yorvit Torrealba.

Yeah I was surprised as well.

Torrealba posted a .438/.571/.875/1.446 line with 2 dingers to provide the Rockies with as many tacos as possible.

So we're able to analyze players by how much contribution they provide just based on their rate statistics. But that's not enough, oh no.

From wOBA data, I determined the team's TOAR and TORR values, or their Tacos Over Average/Replacement Rockie, by taking their wOBA minus the average team wOBA in Taco games (and for replacement level, 80% of said average), and determined how many Tacos each Rockies position player has contributed to the team. (For those of you taking this a bit too seriously, I didn't adjust anything for anything or account for anything extra. These numbers are just as the box score provides them.)

So basically, what we're doing here is determining who provided the team with the most possible Tacos during the Taco games so far. Sure, Torrealba had a few good games, but he only amassed 21 plate appearances with which to any Taco production. Being the backup catcher, this is totally expected.

The next, and final question, is who, so far this season, has provided the most Tacos for this team? Well, it would more than likely have to be someone with a large difference between their wOBA and the team average wOBA who has a large number of plate appearances.

For example, Torrealba has the best wOBA, but only 12 PA, giving him a 2.70 TOAR (4.63 TORR). Barmes is 4th on the TOAR scale, amassing 7.28 TOAR (14.99 TORR).

However, one Rockie tops them all in terms of providing their fans with satisfaction, with feeding their fever, with delicious Tacos.

And that Rockie is Todd Helton.

Helton has batted his way into veritable feast of Tacos for his adoring public, bringing 13.34 Tacos above the team Taco average, or 23.99 Tacos above a replacement level Taco player. Standing high above the masses with over 2 Grande Meals as we watch in Awe, Helton is reminding us once again why he is the face of this franchise.

Bringing up the back end of this study are the Taco haters. Carlos Gonzalez resides at the back end of our Taco list, costing the Coors faithful over 8 tacos beyond what an average Taco player would(-8.35 TOAR, -4.22 TORR).

Amusingly enough, Garrett Atkins sits at 0.40 TORR, basically defining what freely available Taco production would be available to the team. In other words, Atkins is the Taco Replacement Player.

From here, should we wish to feed our fevers with the bounty provided by big bats, we should lean on the mighty beard and bat of Todd Helton, as he will continue to lead us to Taco Glory.

Should you wish to see how the other position players have fared, the link to the spreadsheet is here:

http://tinyurl.com/llbcxk