A few days ago Milton Bradley was wanting to talk to Lou Piniella and luckily for us we had some audio available from the conversion.
Lou Pinella – Milton come on in, you wanted to talked to me?
Milton Bradley – Yea Skip, these umpires are killin' me out there. It started when I got suspended for telling Eddings he was wrong a month ago. I think they are taking it out on me. Its not fair.
Lou Pinella – Calm down, but it sure has looked that way. Let's get to the bottom of it now. Let me get that stat nerd we employ in here now. [hollers] Mom's Basement, get in here.
Mom's Basement – My name's Matt.
Lou Pinella – Whatever Basement.... can you get that computer thing fired up and see how the umpires have been hosing Milton over here since he called out that non-seeing umpire.
Milton Bradley – Yes, that's my job Mr. Pinella.
Mom's Basement - [Under his breath] Let me see here... Bradley's id is number is150396.... April 16th was the date... called strikes and balls. OK. Lets see. First, before the 16th Mr. Bradley here had 23% of the the pitches he took called strikes, while afterward it was 30%.
Milton Bradley – AHHH, I knew they were after me.
Lou Pinella – Umm.
Mom's Basement – Well, let's see if the actual pitches were strikes or balls according to Mr. Bradley's adjusted vertical height and the commonly called 24-inch wide plate.
Lou Pinella – Adjusted what? I don't care about big words, just let us know if he is getting hosed or what.
Mom's Basement – OK, here are the numbers -- [pointing to screen] before the incident 15% of the balls in the strike zone were called balls, while now it is closer to 10%..
Milton Bradley – See coach, they aren't sleeping back there anymore.
Mom's Basement - .. and the number of balls called strikes has gone from 12.5% to 15%. That is about 3 more called strikes of the 110 pitches you have taken since the suspension. If you look at this graphic you can see all the called strikes compared to the umpires' strike zones.
Lou Pinella – Damn Basement, you might be useful for something besides drinking all the club house's Mountain Dew.
Milton Bradley – Man, look at all those pitches out of the zone, it looks like hundreds of them.
Mom's Basement – There are only five and each is only an inch or two off the plate.
Lou Pinella – Man this is unacceptable.
Milton Bradley – I have got to get even and call these all-mighty umpires out in the media.
Mom's Basement – On average, about 17% of balls and strikes are called correctly, so actually the umpires have been nice to you.
Lou Pinella – [Gives Mom's Basement stare of death] Basement, you are done. Get your butt out and go back to reading that book called "The Book".
Milton Bradley – Who the hell reads a book called "The Book"?
Mom's Basement – [Leaves office and under breath] Idiots.
Lou Pinella and Milton Bradley – [Together] Nerd.
Lou Pinella – Well you got to do you you got to do.
Milton Bradley – Yes I will. [Turns around and leaves.] Yo, reporter, over here...
Lou Pinella – Well, back to reading my book. [Opens "You Can Teach Hitting" by Dusty Baker].