Jonah Keri talking to his friend about the genius moves of the Mets management team.

Seth: may i offer a pop quiz?

me: shoot

Seth: you are the manager of a baseball team

Seth: this team has blown a 3-2 lead in this game it is the bottom of the 9th down 1 bases loaded 2 out you have a choice

me: OMIR SANTOS!!! (Ed note: At this point I thought Manager Jerry Manuel had blown the game by not pinch-hitting for Santos. Nope. It was MUCH worse than that.)

Seth: WHAT THE ****** **** *******?! I can’t evne type i’m so angry

me: Who was on the bench? Sheff?

Seth: no, no one castillo and delgado both hurt

me: Oh Well then…what?

Seth: but castro was 2-4 with an rbi and has the added advantage of not being a career minor leaguer with a .650 career MINOR LEAGUE ops

me: WAIT They pinch hit Santos for Castro?!

Seth: yes. that is exactly what happened.

me: Santos a LH batter? (Ed note: Santos is so crappy that even a certified seamhead like me isn’t sure of his handedness.)

Seth: nope oh! also! santos was in the bullpen catching

me: COME ON! YOU’RE LYING!

Seth: so didn’t even like, run a sprint or take a practice swing. god i wish i were it took 3 min to do the substitution because he had to take his gear off and run in from the outfield i don’t think i even could make this up

Seth: if i’m ramon castro right now, i’m the angriest person ever

Seth: 650 CAREER MINOR LEAGUE OPS! he hits one grand slam and all of a sudden he’s carlton fucking fisk. i almost always a) have patience with managers and b) give them the benefit of the doubt. jerry manuel should be fired. today. i am actually eating the stressball in my office. i think i need a doughnut.