F.A.T. of the right handed variety

So, the 2009 FA signing period has officially started. Teams will now bid on various entities in the FA market, such as Mark Teixeira, CC Sabathia, Derek Lowe, Manny Ramirez, and various other delectabilities of various types.

You are an MLB GM. You've taken care of all the lefty-killing aspects of your bullpen. So, what if you need to get a right handed batter out? You don't want to give up the prospects needed to pry that lean, mean, righty-mashing machine away from his current team. However, you do not want to throw all that money at one of those fancy "closers" on the free agent market, let alone that coveted draft pick. 

And thus, you turn to F.A.T. Presenting... a sampling of your 2009 F.A.T. right handed reliever/ROOGY class.

Brian Lawrence via sowerbybridgecc.intheteam.com

Brian Lawrence- He was a starter from 2003-2005 with the San Diego Padres, and put up rather unimpressive stats (average tRA of around 5, although that ERA did look pretty thanks to Petco). He was (traded?) to the Mets, which was a stint cut short by a rotator cuff injury. Picked up off waivers by the Braves, he quietly put up some solid numbers. He doesn't strike out a lot of batters, but his walk rates are solid. Take into account that the majority of his professional experience has been as a starter.

2008 stats (AAA Richmond, as a starter): 81.7 IP, 3.88 tRA, 2.84 K/BB, 3.39 FIP, .318 BAA, .366 BABIP

Career MLB/MiLB Stats: 5.58 K/9, 2.50 BB/9, 2.23 K/BB, 0.94 HR/9, 4.13 FIP.

Career MLB splits v. RHB: .247/.296/.669

Derrick Turnbow- Came up with the Angels organization, traded to Milwaukee. He's a former All-Star (like that means anything, but still). Had several solid years with the Brewers organization, before completely imploding in 2008 to the point of getting the DFA-hammer in May. However, as it has been stated before, writing off a player's decent seasons because of an absolute disaster of a season isn't always the best idea. And, his BABIP was over .400 in his 2008 debacle. If he's coming on a minor league deal for the minimum, he should turn some heads, especially since he appears capable to be effective against bats of both orientations.

Career MLB stats: 9.26 K/9, 1.58 K/BB, 0.87 HR/9, 4.40 FIP

Career MLB splits v. RHB: .207/.341/ .687

Because his career lefty splits are worth mentioning: .230/.339/.690

Kiko Calero- He was the throw-in piece of the deal that brought Dan Haren to Oakland, and sent Mark Mulder to St. Louis for what would be the beginning of the end of his career. His full name is also Enrique Nomar Calero, which is just cool. He gets bonus points for that. He did struggle in 2007 though before getting released in 2008.

2008 (AAA Oklahoma) : 8.86 K/9, 1.75 K/BB, 5.36 FIP, .338 BABIP, 6.58 tRA. (Yes, he imploded a bit. Still, on a league minimum deal, throw him against the proverbial wall and see if he sticks)

Career MLB Splits v. RHB: .208/.272/.601  

Career Stats: 3.48 FIP, 9.46 K/9, 2.66 K/BB, .226 BAA, 1.22 WHIP

Elmer Dessens-He's a F.A.T. version of Troy Percival (well, minus the being -14 runs above replacement part). All the way down to the body type. He should probably retire.  But, I'm betting that if Percival were avaiable for league minimum, someone would be picking him up.

Career MLB Splits v. RHB: .267/.316/.726  (Not as impressive as the other guys, but still worth noting)

Career (MLB) Stats: 5.45 K/9, 2.06 K/BB, .286 BAA, 4.40 FIP

2008: Too small a sample size. I could only find 4 IP for 2008.

Vinnie Chulk-He blossomed in Toronto's bullpen, before being passed over to the Giants. He did indeed implode in 2008 and, like Turnbow, was released mid-season. Although, I would think that to Giants fans, he would be one of the less painful pitchers to watch implode.

2008 stats (Giants):4.55 K/9, 2.00 K/BB, 1.71 HR/9, 5.53 FIP, 5.63 tRA

Career MLB Stats: 6.30 K/9, 1.89 K/BB, 1.02 HR/9, .262 BAA, 4.40 FIP

Career MLB splits v. RHB: .253/.314/.698

Vinnie Chulk via farm2.static.flickr.com

If this is blatantly and miserably screwed up, feel free to lambast me.